mother

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The Smartest Man

Published June 26, 2014 by singleandfabulous10

I once dated one of the smartest men in the world.

How do you know? (You may be asking.) Well, dear reader, he told me.

No doubt you are impressed and greatly interested to learn in what context I was informed of his intellectual magnificence.

It was, naturally, in the midst of a disagreement. Over what? Unfortunately, I cannot recall, probably due to the fact that, alas, I may not be one of the smartest women in the world.

I believe the line “I am one of the smartest men in the world” was trotted out as a way of definitely ending the argument, of establishing his right-ness, once and for all, and ending any question that I might have anything of value to contribute on this (or any other) matter of contention.

I wondered, Where did he get this idea? Is it an objective statement? I consider it doubtful. I mean, he was no Stephen Hawking or anything.

Perhaps his mother told him so. It seems like something a mother might say.

One of my married friends is fond of referring to insufferably pompous men as “special helmet babies.” In other words, having been told how special they are for so long by their mommies, they have a falsely inflated sense of self that keeps them from being good for, or good to, any woman, ever.

I suppose it did, in a way, end the argument, as I was temporarily stunned into silence.

Though it was less because I was in awe of his massive genius – and more because I was floored by his giant ego.

Mama’s Boy

Published November 5, 2013 by singleandfabulous10

I once dated a man who lived with his mother.

Okay. Confession. I’ve dated more than one man who lived with his mother.

I suppose there’s really no excuse for it. But I’m going to try to justify it anyway.

Bachelor #1 told me he’d only been living with his mother temporarily. He’d fallen on hard times, and had to get back on his feet.

I later found out he’d been living with her at least seven years.

This explained a lot.

Bachelor #2 told me his mother lived with him, which was true. She lived with him in his house, and he supported her. At first, I thought it was sweet.

Then I realized it wasn’t. It wasn’t sweet at all when I realized he cared more about what she thought than what I thought. And more about what she wanted than what I wanted. To top it off, his mother didn’t like me.

Not surprisingly, Bachelor #2 didn’t last long.

Bachelor #3 didn’t tell me his mother lived with him. Much like Bachelor #2, his mother lived with him in his house, and he supported her. Due to some clever omissions on his part, I didn’t find out about this right away. But when I did, it was the death knell for our relationship.

The thing I find really odd about all this is that these guys were all over 30. I mean, I hadn’t dated a guy who lived with his mom since I was a teenager.

Strangely enough, my single friends in their 30s and 40s have also run across all sorts of men who are living with their mothers, or their parents. I suppose this speaks to the accuracy of Wendy Walsh’s statement, but it still gives me pause.

Call me judgmental, but if you’re living with your mom, or your parents (and no, it doesn’t matter whose house it is), I think it’s safe to say you have a thing or two to sort out before you should start dating.

And no, it doesn’t help if you try to keep it a secret.