I recently learned that that guy I was dating a little over a year ago has just had a baby with another woman.
First, I breathed a long sigh of relief that it wasn’t me.
And then, I thought, Wow, I guess he quickly got over his fear of knocking some girl up. Frankly, I was shocked to learn he was having a baby with anyone.
I’m going to choose to believe that this decision had very little to do with me, and probably more to do with his own carelessness.
I had no sooner gotten over this bit of news when I ran into someone I dated about five years ago. As it turns out, he also had a child with another woman, and he’s now married to her. He seemed much the same as he had been when I knew him years ago – in other words, not someone well-equipped to be either a husband or a father.
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Getting married and having kids is what people do. Most people, anyway. And unfortunately, a lot of people are not as discriminating as they might be about who they choose to do these things with.
Sometimes I have this fear that my ex boyfriends are going to become better people without me.
And then I come to my senses – and laugh and laugh.
The lesson here?
Don’t worry: I promise you, the man who treated you without the love and care you deserved is busy treating some other woman the same way, right now as you’re reading this. It’s just that she’s still putting up with it.
Sometimes you’ve got to be willing to be someone who leaves.